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| Credits: Carlos Porto / FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
There are no confirmed causes for irritable bowel syndrome. According to alternative medicines, we already born with this syndrome. In my case, stress always brings gastrointestinal disorders, so I can see truth in this idea.
However, I can clearly identify the minute IBS visited me to stay. I was in an unhappy time, with two full-time jobs in two different cities, too much stress, few hours of sleep time, poor diet and lack of exercise, leisure time and fun. Balance was the word that was missing in my life.
As every time we give too much attention to things that don't deserve it, God shows us what really matters. A person of my family died and a flurry of guilt came over me. Won by the invincibility of time, I cried like never before and an unknown abdominal pain screamed in my face: "Welcome to IBS".
This happened in August of 2008 and forgiveness took eternities to arrive. Five years later, an inevitable maturity sent by God made me realize that there are plenty of events that escape from our own responsibility and are per-programmed to lead us to the place where we are supposed to arrive. I also learned that all feelings of guilt are a consequence of a poor use of what we were made of, love.
Like selfishness, addiction, obsession and many other bad feelings that are quick to come to our mind (if there are evil forces eagerly waiting to get space in our life is a discussion out of my purpose here), guilt also breaks down the door and sits on our couch leaving us uncomfortable and standing without a place to rest.
Guilt made me subconsciously convince myself that I deserved to suffer from IBS and this guilt attracted other feelings of guilt: guilt for never take time to learn how to cope with stress; guilt because for so many times I decided to stay instead of go; guilt of feeding my loneliness; guilty for the lies I told to myself justifying that there were other things that were keeping me away from leaving when in reality I was always afraid of the symptoms of IBS; guilt for always let IBS control my day. Actually, guilt has always been a difficult feeling to face and, maybe that's why in my particular case it was a factor of attraction of IBS.
Today I can understand that IBS was one of the best things that happened to me. I'm a person difficult to find in the middle of guilt or other limiting feelings. Today I'm a renewed and stronger person and I'm more aware of the volatility of life, the present and the strength I carry inside.
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